Seeing another surgeon

I was pleased with my original surgeon, though another thing could be said for the registered nurse with her long white coat(which is another story) who seemed a little on the not so bright side. She was a sweetheart however.

Turns out my surgeons schedule has changed and that he no longer operates on Thursdays.

So I'm going to go see a very well respected female surgeon whose schedule overlaps perfectly with mine.

Some of you might be wondering why I am going to go see someone when I can't afford the surgery in the first place.

So this is the deal. I don't have almost $7 000, just sitting around. I have a ton of other expenses but I have just decided to get a 0% apr credit card deal with chase and to swipe it. That's right, just swipe it.

I know its innapropriate to do thos right now but I have waited years to do this. Fact is, for the next 8 yrs I'm still gonna have this financial strain but I don't want to be an old cougar by the time I do this. I'll have other things to fix by then. Like a saggy butt, varicose and spider veins, wrinkles and cellulite.

Last night I walked around in my awesome gym pants that has the effect of spanx and my rice test boobs and that's when I realised I love my body. Some girls would kill to be my size and shape- as my husband says. (Isn't he the sweetest?) I felt in proportion, my waist looked beautiful and my butt pretended to be less jiggly for a moment.

I realised that I am human, imperfect and that there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve myself even if it means making a 2inch incision on my breasts to do so.

Working on my fitness

Let me tell you, as i was just DYING in midst of my cardio today i found motivation in keeping going by closing my eyes, imagining myself in fantastic shape on the beach doing "the baywatch run". It was so funny- it worked!

Realistic results

So my surgeon has assigned me to a website to help me understand what realistic expectations can be potentially via comparison to other woman who has similar looking breasts.

I couldn't find breasts that where very similar but so far this is all i got. Her stats are also very different from mine but I think it does help give a better idea.

Subject above has the following stats: :

Age: 32, white, 3 kids, none breastfed
Height: 5'3
Weight: 123
Size: I went from an A cup to a D cup
Implants: Mentor High Profile (HP)
Implant Fill: Saline, 380 cc's filled to 430 cc's
Implant Profile: High Profile
Implant Shape: Round
Implant Surface: Smooth
Implant Placement: Under the muscle
Incision: Crease (inframammary)


My profile:

Age: 23 caucasian, no kids
Height: 5'3.5"
Weight: 108
Size: 32B to small D
Implants: Mentor High Profile (HP)
Implant Fill: (potentially: Silicone) 400-425max
Implant Profile: High Profile
Implant Shape: Round
Implant Surface: Smooth

On the fence

I'm having a hard time figuring this one out. In one way, I have accepted the inability do have my surgery due to a lack of sufficient funds. Though in another sense, I feel like it still could happen. Plus my husband who was initially not too exited about it is now more encouraging. What do I do?

Donate money for my breast augmentation

I need $6 800.

Broken-hearted

It's a day after my breast augmentation consult and I have to admit that I am very sad. 

My consult went well. As I was sitting in the office waiting (45 min) I thought to myself. Wow, this is actual surgery. How crazy.

I tried on plenty of implant sizes and think we decided on silicone, the 20- a width size- not inches! And 400 cc.

So I came home and then the problem was. Is this really and affordable thing in our current lives? How are we going to pay for our international trip to see my family- next year, a car for me, my education and then we are not even touching the subject of my husbands $200 000 student loans debt.

I spend all of last night crying. Woke up with ridiculously swollen eyes to go to work. I'm still fighting back the tears as I am writing this today.

I am so sad. I really wanted this. Though I have to keep in mind it is $6 800. I think I just realized this is never going to happen for me. It's just not a financial option right now.

I really am so sad. I wish I just had the money. I wanted to do this for myself so bad. I deserve it.

I suppose the next step is canceling my surgery date. I can't even think it without tears welling in my eyes.

HOORAY

14 days to go until my consult

xxx