Thursday, April 24, 2008

Broken-hearted

It's a day after my breast augmentation consult and I have to admit that I am very sad. 

My consult went well. As I was sitting in the office waiting (45 min) I thought to myself. Wow, this is actual surgery. How crazy.

I tried on plenty of implant sizes and think we decided on silicone, the 20- a width size- not inches! And 400 cc.

So I came home and then the problem was. Is this really and affordable thing in our current lives? How are we going to pay for our international trip to see my family- next year, a car for me, my education and then we are not even touching the subject of my husbands $200 000 student loans debt.

I spend all of last night crying. Woke up with ridiculously swollen eyes to go to work. I'm still fighting back the tears as I am writing this today.

I am so sad. I really wanted this. Though I have to keep in mind it is $6 800. I think I just realized this is never going to happen for me. It's just not a financial option right now.

I really am so sad. I wish I just had the money. I wanted to do this for myself so bad. I deserve it.

I suppose the next step is canceling my surgery date. I can't even think it without tears welling in my eyes.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why is it so important that you get a boob job? Do you not value yourself with your current boobs? If I were you I would invest your money in a good counselor instead to work through these self-esteem issues.

Sandie said...

Hon, why are you so broken hearted? I think you need to sit down and figure that out. Most women in this world just don't find breast size this important. It sounds like you have a husband, and you are successful. Decide not to obsess anymore, it's just not worth it!